"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."

This is a blog about widows,
mothers and daughters,
facing change and challenges
and receiving ordinary, everyday blessings that don't seem quite so ordinary anymore.
It chronicles the journey from grief into the restoration of what has been lost.

*** I am no longer actively posting to this site, so please come visit me at my new site ***

http://www.jrrmblog.com/ - "Starting Over ... Again"

Thursday, November 7, 2013

What To Say ... And What Not to Say ... To Someone Who Is Grieving.

I am always on the lookout for great posts and articles to share about grief, grieving and resources out there for folks who are in the grief process.  (And it is a PROCESS.)

Here is a blog post that I stumbled across on Pinterest.  I can't wait to share it with you, because it is a great post about what to say and what NOT to say to someone who is grieving.

So many people struggle with this.  I know that so many of our friends and family didn't know what to say or do after my husband's death a few years ago.  It's hard to know what is the "right" thing to say - something that will comfort in some way, and not add to the burden or sadness.

This post says it clearly and concisely.  It's what I have tried to convey, both in speaking to friends/family and in this blog.

Here is the blog post, from the "I Think We Could Be Friends" blog.

I hope this helps someone to better understand how to help someone who is grieving, and relieves some of the awkwardness that might be felt when we simply don't know what to say.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Educators Need To Be Educated About Grief in Children

The topic of kids and grief, and the teachers that teach these grieving children is a subject near and dear to my heart.  After the death of my husband over 2 years ago, we have experienced the need for teachers to be better educated about dealing with grieving kids first-hand.

Last year my youngest daughter had a hard time in school.  Her first year following her father's death was difficult, but nowhere near as difficult as the year that was to follow.  That second year she "hit a wall" in many ways, and the biggest obstacle was her grief.  What made it so hard on my daughter was her teacher's inability to understand my daughter's grief, and to recognize it for what it was.

I feel strongly that teachers need to be better educated about grief in children; how to recognize it, and how to help the child deal with those feelings.

Here is a great PDF for teachers about that very thing.

It's from the New York Life Foundation website, and that site is packed with lots of resources for teachers and parents.

Brookes Publishing has a link on that site to a book called "The Grieving Student - A Teacher's Guide."  I am considering buying a copy (or two) for the teachers at my daughter's school.

It's not difficult for teacher's to learn more about grief in children, and the signs and symptoms exhibited by grieving children.  I know that most of our teachers put in a great deal of time and effort to be equipped to help our kids.  I am not trying to add to their pile of work.

But a little time to become educated about grief in children, its signs and symptoms, and how to assist a child through this most difficult of times is time well spent.  Children need a strong support system, and the more caring adults they have to turn to - the better.  :)

Monday, November 4, 2013

Pediatricians Can Be Helpful with Children's Grief

This is a great article about how helpful a child's pediatrician can be when dealing with grief.  It's important that the pediatrician be "dialed in" to the child's needs during that time, and be an additional caring adult in that child's life that the child can talk to about the emotions with which they are dealing.

We are very fortunate to have a family doctor that is very helpful in this respect.  He is very careful to look out for ALL of us in our emotional health, as well as our physical health.  He knows that there are physical aspects to grieving, and there are emotional aspects - and the two can overlap at times.  A physical reaction or symptom may well have an emotional cause.

So here is the link to the article.

"This presentation is important for 2 reasons: first, parents often look to pediatricians for guidance, and, second, children's physical symptoms can be manifestations of grief."

Friday, November 1, 2013

"A Crash Course in Grief Recover"

New Book Gives Readers ‘A CRASH COURSE IN Grief Recovery’

Author Tom Lord offers a guide to dealing with tragedy and loss and inner healing.

I just wanted to share with you a new book that I saw advertised.  It can be found at Barnes and Noble, or on Amazon.com.

I may have to read this myself, just to check out what he has to say.  It's written by a man who has spent his whole life helping families during their season of grief.

Click on this link to learn more about the book.