Helping Teens Cope with Death

Here is one I haven't had to deal with as much - teens and death.  My oldest daughter was 19 when Robby died, and Rachel was 8 so we skirted the volatile teen years for the most part.  But helping teens deal with death is a little different than explaining death to a small child.  There are not as many questions, but the loss is just as profound.  They understand more about what's happened, but still need loving adults to help them through the many emotions that are sure to bombard them.

Here are a few hints about helping teens cope with grief:

Many Teens Are Told To “Be Strong”

Sad to say, many adults who lack understanding of their experience discourage teens from sharing their grief. Bereaved teens give out all kinds of signs that they are struggling with complex feelings, yet are often pressured to act as they are doing better than they really are.
When a parent dies, many teens are told to “be strong” and “carry on” for the surviving parent. They may not know if they will survive themselves let alone be able to support someone else. Obviously, these kinds of conflicts hinder the “work of mourning”.
Teen Years Can Be Naturally Difficult

Teens are no longer children, yet neither are they adults. With the exception of infancy, no developmental period is so filled with change as adolescence. Leaving the security of childhood, the adolescent begins the process of separation from parents. The death of a parent or sibling, then, can be a particularly devastating experience during this already difficult period.
At the same time the bereaved teen is confronted by the death of someone loved, he or she also faces psychological, physiological and academic pressures. While teens may begin to look like “men” or “women”, they will still need consistent and compassionate support as they do the work of mourning, because physical development does not always equal emotional maturity.